Jewish Values, Everything Bagel Ice Cream, and a New Podcast
Or: The Irony of Emailing About Death on Tax Day
Tomorrow, April 16, is National Healthcare Decisions Day. NHDD started in 2008 and exists to “inspire, educate and empower the public and providers about the importance of advance care planning” (from: https://theconversationproject.org/nhdd/)
While this day is focused specifically on end of life healthcare, it can also serve as an invitation to begin having important conversations for anyone, regardless of life stage. The best time to have these conversations is before they need to be had.
My partner and I are in the process of writing our first will. We were given a list of questions to answer that are intended to guide us towards the big decisions we need to make about an eventuality that’s (hopefully) far off. This has led us to hypothetical questions and scenario planning for life, death, our daughter, and everything in between. Not our typical late night convo, but nothing that we can’t tackle with a couple of spoons and a pint of ice cream.
As I read about NHDD and why these conversations and decisions are so important to have, I found myself thinking about the Jewish teachings that are reflected. Specifically, three values/core principles of Jewish life: chesed (acts of loving kindness), kavanah (intention), and achrayut (responsibility).
Chesed, acts of loving kindness: Planning ahead and leaving clear instructions for those we’ll leave behind is a true act of chesed. It alleviates some of the difficulty for the ones we love during emotionally hard times.
Kavanah, intention: Living with intention, and specifically living a Jewish life with intention, is an ideal way to approach life. It helps us to elevate the mundane things to the holy and purposeful. What could it look like to turn towards the end of our lives with that same intention? Taking the time to make important decisions about healthcare is a concrete way of applying kavanah to an often overlooked part of life’s journey.
Achrayut, responsibility: The responsibility we have to the ones we love and to ourselves, to have important conversations - even when they’re hard. Also, the responsibility our communities and leadership have to make space for these conversations. We hear a lot about “living a Jewish life” and maybe it’s time to start talking about what it means to die Jewishly.
Here are some resources to help you get started:
What Matters from the Marlene Meyerson JCC
ON THE POD
Episode 04 BONUS clip of Al Rosenberg
Al is a great many things including a writer, a community lover, and a Jewish non-profit professional. They are also living with an autoimmune disease. This episode has a lot in it including the drama of certain Jewish rituals, what you probably shouldn't say to someone who is dying, and many moments of humor and joy.